We all know there's no greater way to measure sass than passive-aggressive notes left for your neighbours, but this lengthy rant - oddly poetic in its own way - takes it to the next level.
The furious full-page message was left by a tenant who was kept up by their noisy neighbours, but this excellent description of the whole thing sounds like a scene out of an American high school movie.
The angry tenant gives them the Laguna Beach-esque names Kristin, Becky, Chad, Jen, Tracy and Megan - and proceeds to dish out the insults.
"Being loud in your own apartment is one thing, but letting Becky stumble around slur-yelling in the hallway at 3.30am is another," the note reads.
"I understand Kristin is excited about her new stewardess job at Air Canada, but she needs to tone it the f*** down because your neighbours are trying to sleep... and we all know WestJet is better anyway."
It goes on to dismiss the tragic breakup of "Chad" and "Jen", saying they only went on that last date because "Chad" had a free Groupon.
"You must not have heard the battlecry I let out at exactly 3:37," the note continues.
"It was something to the effect of, 'SHUT THE F*** UP!'
"No, you didn't let up until 4:02, because Jen's aggressive cry-yelling didn't let up until 4:02, at which point she was ushered into the back of a yellow checkered cab with fresh puke starting to crust on her new Artizya flannel."
The note ultimately concludes that the hallway is a "ridiculous" place to hang out late at night, advising with "lukewarm regards" that they should all move out immediately.
The brilliant note has gone viral, with over 50,000 upvotes on Reddit and thousands of sympathetic comments in less than 24 hours.
The original poster followed up saying a bunch of their fellow neighbours wrote their own "f*** yous" on the letter, but says the cleaner took it down.
Spoil-sport. But still, this is incredible. Read it in full below.