"If you don't send dick pics to your boys, they're not your boys."
After interviewing lots of men, I found that young males are more likely to send dick pics to their mates than to females they're trying to impress.
At 29, I'm don't think I'm old enough to say "kids these days" but seriously ... WTF is going on?
When guys do send dick pics to girls, they think it's a bold move. They're stating their intentions and hoping to impress.
It's basically a way of saying "I've shown you mine so feel free to show me yours," but the reality is blokes are more likely to be mocked and shamed than pleasantly surprised.
Girls don't like it. They think it's gross. They show their girlfriends and compare horror stories.
So considering this, I asked the guys: "If girls don't like it, then why bother?"
Their answer: "Well, the boys love it!"
Surely this isn't a thing? I started asking every bloke I spoke with if they were more likely to send dick pics to a girl or their boys.
When you interview people at 2am out the front of a nightclub you're obviously always expecting the unexpected but I couldn't believe what I was hearing. One bloke confusingly, contradictorily and hilariously replied with "who sends dick pics to girls? That's gay!"
Another was able to show me a bunch of his mates' penises in a group chat where they'd been comparing their junk earlier that day.
One man commented on Facebook that, "the boys on the worksite have probably seen it more times on Snapchat than my missus has in our bedroom".
I don't know if I was breaking some sort of bro code but I asked a few girls what they thought of guys sending pics to other guys and it seems they're just happy they're not going to them.
"I joined one dating site and I could make a collage out of all the dick pics I've received," one girl commented. "As soon as they send them I hit delete and block them. If those gross boys want to send them to their friends I'd prefer that cause sending them to us [girls] is disgusting and not going to get them anywhere or anything."
So when you see a young bloke wearing high-vis workwear checking his phone and assume he's sending a text, checking the roster or ordering lunch, think again. He's probably looking at his mate's penis.
Remember when sending an eggplant emoji was considered risque?
That, folks, was the good old days.