Should you move in with your partner? Take this quiz

By Bianca London

Research revealed relationships can last eight years longer if you live together before walking down the aisle. Photo / 123RF
Research revealed relationships can last eight years longer if you live together before walking down the aisle. Photo / 123RF

You've found The One and you're about to make the leap to move in together - but how do you know it's the right thing to do?

Research revealed relationships can last eight years longer if you cohabit before walking down the aisle, but experts say there's still some important questions you need to ask before committing.

Push emotion to the side, put on your objective hat and see how many of the following you can honestly say 'yes' to. If you can't tick off at least seven, your relationship could be doomed.

1. Who pursued who?

If you pursued him and if you were the aggressor then your relationship may not last, warns India Kang, author of Why Men Ask Dumb Dating Questions, and How to Date - Single Girl Dating Manuals. From a biologically point of view, men love a challenge and a chase. If you did the chasing, think twice before moving in together. It might end up being a waste of time.

2. Who initiates the 'move in talks?'

If he is dragging his feet and is on the fence about moving in together, this is a bad sign. Normally, when a man wants you, he wants to 'speed' the relationship along and is often the one who wants to live together. Is he initiating the talks or are you? If it's you, back off to see whether he wants to live together as much as you do.

3. Is he serious about the relationship?

Living together is sometimes a precursor for either getting engaged or married. Many couples live together to 'test' how they get on. Before moving in together, ask yourself if he is serious about the two of you? Is he talking about commitment and about building a future together?

4. Have you met each other's parents?

If you haven't met his parents yet, again, think twice before moving in. Sometimes, due to location, it's physically impossible to meet each other parents, especially if they live aboard. Thanks to technology you can now 'meet' via a video call. If he hasn't introduced you to his parents either physically or via a video call, don't move in together.

5. Does he buy you romantic gifts?

Men in love don't forget your birthdays, Valentine's Day or any special occasion that's important to you. Men who want you and who love you, are always buying you romantic gifts, too. If you're planning on moving in together, think back to his gifts. Are they romantic in nature or practical, for example a toaster? His gifts will reveal how he truly feels about the two of you.

6. Can I afford to live by myself?

Thinking about what will happen if things turn sour in the future may not be the most romantic thing to ask yourself before moving in together but it will save you from having that niggling thought in the back of your head that you have to live together because you don't have any other option, says Olga Levancuka is the author of How To Be Selfish.

7. Will I keep my own life?

Often, we think that the more we care for someone, the more time we should spend with them and when living together, it's even easier to think that you should spend all your time with them. Unfortunately, 'couple syndrome' will not only alienate your friends it is also unhealthy for your relationship. Stick to the less is more approach.

8. What's in it for me?

You might be very clear about what's in it for you, but weighing up the pros and cons before actually moving in will prepare you for an easier transition with fewer surprises should you go ahead. After all, dating (when each of you tries to impress each other) and living together (when you have to deal with your partner's issues are two different things.

9. How would I want to see my life in five years' time?

It's common for us to look to our immediate needs, instead of concentrating on the goals we are working towards. If you see yourself with the same person, go ahead by all means and move in together, yet if you are working towards becoming a pop star and planning to travel the world, when your partner has never travelled further than their chair, moving in together could crush your dreams and lead to resentment in the long term.

10. Do I respect this person?

Love may come and go, but if you respect your partner, you'll have a partner for life. Partners who respect each other have better channels of communication, are less to put each other down should they encounter problems and look out for one another. If you have a relationship where there's mutual respect, you'll know you can rely on each other help and understanding in the long term.

- Daily Mail

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