Controversial polygamy dating sites passes 100,000 members

By Victoria Craw

Azad Chaiwala thinks he is doing women a favour by offering them a shot at being a second or third wife. Photo / Azad Chaiwala facebook
Azad Chaiwala thinks he is doing women a favour by offering them a shot at being a second or third wife. Photo / Azad Chaiwala facebook

Web entrepreneur Azad Chaiwala claims membership for his polygamist dating sites has soared to more than 100,000 members, amid reports of a rise in multiple marriages across the UK.

The 33-year-old born in Manchester to parents of Pakistani origin said the reality is "women are not sexual beings" but are "nurturing" and "caring". As opposed to men who "can't even walk down the street without seeing billboards that are triggering every notion inside them".

"What I'm advocating is that you have your main partner which for men would be their first wife then they take on a second wife or a third wife, and I'm limiting it at four," he told news.com.au.

"I'm saying stick with those people for the rest of your life and be true to them and take care of one another and have a family and be happy."

The developer, who currently has just the one wife, believes he is doing "feminists a favour" by ensuring women can "have a family and be happy" rather than being relegated to a life of sexual objectification.

"Promiscuity means seeing prostitutes, pornography, strip clubs, mistresses, everything secret, everything hidden," he said. "You have children from that and they have no future, they've got no recognition, nobody owns then, they get disowned and so on and so forth.

"I think I'm the biggest feminist because I'm actually advocating for women's rights. Ask these feminists, would they rather be a prostitute, would they rather be a mistress, a stripper, or would they rather be somebody's wife? Would they rather be a mum? Have their own house and grow up and raise a family and spend their life with one man? Yes there may be co-wives in the picture but it's better than sleeping with 10 men a night which a lot of ladies are unfortunately forced to do."

The controversial entrepreneur claims there has been a surge in interest on the sites he set to work on in 2014 after he realised his childhood dream of having multiple wives was looking unlikely.

Azad Chaiwala now runs Secondwife.com aimed at the Muslim community in the UK and Polygamy.com which has members of various faiths that are 55 per cent female. Photo / Secondwife.com screenshot
Azad Chaiwala now runs Secondwife.com aimed at the Muslim community in the UK and Polygamy.com which has members of various faiths that are 55 per cent female. Photo / Secondwife.com screenshot

He now runs Secondwife.com aimed at the Muslim community in the UK and Polygamy.com which has members of various faiths that are 55 per cent female. Both are designed for men seeking wives rather than the other way around as it doesn't make for a "viable business," he said.

"You ladies want more husbands, be my guest ... My site doesn't work both ways but if they want to set up one by all means do it."

The fact that polygamy is illegal in Australia and the UK has not deterred advocates of the trend, which is reportedly on the rise among young people in Britain. Dating sites show profiles of young women who state they are "accepting" of polygamy with career aspirations, the desire for a large family and independence among some of the reasons women state they are in favour of the idea.

Mr Chaiwala said he knew around 18 families personally who lived under the arrangement and advocates a "formal ceremony" to cement the marriage even if it is not legally valid.

"I want it to be open so there is extra pressure from the community that you must maintain this marriage. You're not just going on a sexual journey ... you are committing to something."

Once established, men typically spend alternate days with each wife and provide houses, cars and financial arrangements of equal value.

"If one gets a car the other gets a car of an equal stature, the children are open to both houses and most often these guys have houses close to one another so the kids can just walk round and have more siblings and access to both mothers, they can eat wherever they like and sleep wherever they like. It's one big happy family," he said.

UK MPs have slammed the idea as a "disrespectful" arrangement that puts women at huge risk financially as they can find themselves without rights if something goes wrong.

Birmingham councillor Mariam Khan told theSunday Mercury: "It is the women who suffer. The modern-day version of looking for a second wife is disrespectful to women, and it is not using the Islamic teaching in a fair way. It ends up in a deteriorating relationship between the husband and first wife."

Islamic law specialist Aina Khan - who is leading a campaign to make sure young people have their traditional ceremony or 'nikah' registered - said many people are shocked to realise they would have no rights under a second or third marriage.
"It seems today some women have forgotten this to the point where they are not even asking for their basic rights, because it is considered unfeminine to want equality. The Koran says that everyone is equal, so we need to go back to this source," she said.

However those attracted to the idea say they like the thought of a large extended family where wives can have a sisterly relationship.

One Australian woman known only as Kaye said "just because it's different, doesn't mean it's wrong" but she was having trouble finding someone in Australia to match her enthusiasm for the idea.

"I wouldn't be involved sexually with the females, but we would be a family. I would be happy to sit with them and talk about other potential wives because I feel I am mature enough to handle it," she said.

"It's not just if he finds her attractive enough, the whole household would have to get along. But, this doesn't mean we would all have to live under the same roof, some poly relationships have connected houses for all of the women."

- news.com.au

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