Paul Little: These are my least favourite things

No more Kardashians, Justin Bieber, visits from Prince Charles or kittens please. Photo / AP
No more Kardashians, Justin Bieber, visits from Prince Charles or kittens please. Photo / AP

It is only proper that at the dawn of a new year we focus on the positive and uplifting potential of the 12 months to come, it's also important that we not overlook the negative.

Accordingly, here a few people, words, trends and other phenomena it would be good not to have to see in 2016.

• Kale.

• Talk of Paula Bennett being prime minister one day.

• Even having to think about that possibility.

• Americans shooting each other for no reason or, worse, religious reasons.

• "Solutions" in business names, such as "Dentistry solutions" or "Web design solutions".

• Paleo anything, especially as a reason to charge twice what could possibly be justified for the item concerned.

• Mark Weldon's ideas on anything.

• Movies featuring Marvel comics characters repeating the same jokes, plot points and action sequences.

• Extortionate cinema ticket prices.

• Surveys telling me New Zealand is the best place on Earth to live.

• Links to kitten videos.

• Knighthoods.

• Rigged talent shows with scripted publicity stunts.

• Stories about the wonders/horrors of the Auckland real estate market.

• Continuing destruction of the little that remains of our built heritage.

• Plans to put monorails or motorways through national parks/reserves.

• Impact used as a verb.

• Briscoes "sales".

• Groundbreaking comedy.

• "Binge watching".

• Reference used as a verb.

• Interesting made-up names for children.

• Alternative spellings for traditional children's names - I'm looking at you Reaghwinn.

• Government measures aimed at making it easier for people to consume more alcohol.

• "Edgy".

• The mania for needlessly cutting down trees.

• Refusal to countenance the humane and decent policy of admitting more refugees than the paltry number we now accept.

• Continued erosion of workers' rights.

• Manipulation of statistics to make things look better than they really are.

• Most blogs.

• Manbuns.

New year, new me ?????#2016 #topknot #manbun

A photo posted by Ivan El Masri (@ivanthemadridista) on

• A flag debate that has been turned into a political battleground.

• Multimillionaire financier John Key's attempts to portray himself as a relatable man of the people.

• Serco.

• Royal visits.

• Stars Wars VII: The Force awakens star Carrie Fisher having to justify the fact that she looks her age.

• Entrepreneur Martin Shkreli, the price-gouging buyer of Aids medicine Daraprim.

• The Block.

• Competitive cooking shows.

• The never-ending US presidential election campaign.

• Justin Beiber when his mouth is open.

• Puffer jackets.

• Use of #hashtags anywhere but on twitter.

• Donald Trump.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. Photo / AP
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. Photo / AP

• The next 50 Shades of Grey movie.

• People - not only, but in particular, young males - killing themselves in numbers that are a national shame.

• Resistance to humane, sensible right-to-die legislation.

• Casinos portrayed as economy-saving powerhouses instead of shiny temples of greed.

• Auckland traffic.

• People complaining about Auckland traffic.

• Onesies.

• Brightly coloured soft drinks occupying roughly a third of display space in dairies.

• Anyone still refusing to acknowledge manmade climate change and the necessity to do something about it.

• The Prince of Wales.

• Attempts to "break the internet".

• Spoiler alerts.

• Google glass.

• The Apple watch.

The Apple Watch craze should be over by now. Photo / AP
The Apple Watch craze should be over by now. Photo / AP

• "Grazing" menus and "plates to share".

• "Artisan" anything.

• Sepp Blatter, Rolf Harris and Bill Cosby.

• Hoverboards.

• Weekly announcements of the discovery of a planet that's the closest yet to possibly being able to sustain life as we know it.

• McDonald's boutique-ing up its "menus".

• Local celebrity stories that aren't about anyone even slightly celebrated.

• Colouring books for alleged adults.

• Food writers who publish the same book every Christmas with a slightly different cover photo.

• Articles marvelling at the rise of online shopping.

• Speculation about the future of the printed book.

• Kardashians.

- Herald on Sunday

Get the news delivered straight to your inbox

Receive the day’s news, sport and entertainment in our daily email newsletter


Have your say

1200 characters left

By and large our readers' comments are respectful and courteous. We're sure you'll fit in well.
View commenting guidelines.

Sort by
  • Oldest

© Copyright 2017, NZME. Publishing Limited

Assembled by: (static) on production apcf04 at 30 Apr 2017 05:53:28 Processing Time: 1087ms