Geeks truly are a different species. I know they look like us, they sometimes act like us and frankly with their powers over email they can rule our lives, but they're not the same as us.
Take these three items. Each one is a bit of a laugh, or at least a weak smile. Put them all together and you've created a monster of freakish proportions. The geek may well inherit the earth if we're not all careful. Be vigilant.
Scrolling LED belt buckle
Nothing says "geek" quite like a scrolling led belt buckle. Ideal for the geek in your life who's not afraid to stand up, push-his taped up glasses further up his oily nose and declare to the world "I be geek".
Available in blue or red, the belt buckle is programmable by plugging it into any PC or mac and can store up to six messages, each 256 characters long. Just think of the possibilities.
And if wearing it on your belt doesn't cut the mustard, there's a version you can wear round your neck on a chain. Wonder if it can spell "bling"?
Price: from US$25 ($36)
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Das keyboard
Only the elite need apply. This is the ultimate keyboard, the one that tells the geek from the nerd. It's Das Keyboard and all its keys are blank.
That's right - force yourself to learn to touch type by working without a safety net. No markings, no letters, no numbers. Nothing. Just 104 blank keys waiting for you to fumble and thump.
Actually, if you do want to learn to touch type this is probably a really good idea. You're forced to memorise the key placements because you can't cheat.
The keys themselves are also pretty cool - they fall into five zones and are weighted slightly differently which is supposed to make typing easier and more comfortable. Righto.
Price: US$80 ($115)
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TV-B-gone
Television is so last century. Banish it. Television begone, we say. This is the ultimate weapon in the battle against the box.
Hang it on your keyring and whenever you find yourself trapped in a room with a reality gardening do-over-show with celebrity guest singers trying their hand at plastic surgery, hit the button.
Guaranteed to shut off almost any TV manufactured in the last decade, the TV-B-Gone is available in a number of different versions - we recommend the European one for the New Zealand TV watcher.
Think of the fun, think of the free time you'll create, think of the lives you'll save. At this price, how can you not indulge in a TV-free world?
Price: US$18 ($26)
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