Jaquie Brown: Unpleasant bedfellow

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The Flu has bedded half of New Zealand. Outrageous. Photo / Thinkstock
The Flu has bedded half of New Zealand. Outrageous. Photo / Thinkstock

The Flu thinks he is the master of seduction, but I've never been interested in him. Not my type.

He says crass things like, "I can't wait to get you into bed". Creep.

I've been curious though because everyone talks about him.

I'd managed to keep him at bay by washing my hands until they nearly bled and chewing vitamin C tablets defiantly. But his persistence finally won me over.

The courtship was swift and he got me into bed quickly. We spent three delirious, sweaty weeks together. Women's intuition told me he'd leave me in the end. And he did. Typical.

But to add insult to infection, I found out I wasn't his only conquest. He'd been with half of New Zealand, including my family. It's enough to make you sick.

- Herald on Sunday

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