I'LL be the first to admit I've joined the vociferous group of detractors every time Jesse Ryder has come up short, on or off the field in his budding, albeit not blossoming, professional cricket career.
For all sense and purpose, the former Hawke's Bay allrounder has brought that on himself with a poor selection of shots, as it were, when it comes to imbibing or choosing between partying and training.
Nevertheless, I wasn't prepared to bag the talented cricketing oxymoron on Wednesday night when the Black Caps somehow snapped defeat from the jaws of victory.
Now don't get me wrong. Former international-cum-commentator Craig McMillan was correct in asserting Wellington Firebird Ryder was playing for himself as the Brendon McCullum-skippered New Zealand lost the Twenty20 decider to South Africa by three runs at Eden Park, Auckland. They crumbled like a house of cards from a comfortable position - needing 17 runs from the final four overs with six wickets in hand.
"I've gone through it last night, the reasons why I thought we lost, and when you need 16 runs off four overs, which is 24 deliveries, you do it in a canter. You basically get bat on ball and you win easily," McMillan had told Radiosport.
"The reason New Zealand lost their momentum in those last four overs is because Jesse Ryder was trying to get one run for his 50, it took nine deliveries to get that one run. It's always dangerous when you put yourself ahead of the team and I think that's what Jesse Ryder did last night."
No arguments there on Ryder's mindset.
I mean, what do you expect a bloke to do when he's coming back into the fray with a calf-injury layoff to rack up a quick-fire 48 from 27 balls after hitting two sixes and five boundaries.
A limp scoop shot down the throat of short fine leg proved to be his undoing.
Was the former Napier Boys' High School pupil the reason why the Black Caps choked?
Absolutely not.
The burning question that comes to mind is why the selectors brought the batsman into the equation?
It was a crucial series-defining match.
Like any player trying to work his way back into a team - and the Black Caps squad are looking sharp - Ryder was always going to prove a point.
All batsmen, when getting close to milestones, tread cautiously when the pressure is on from the bowlers.
After all, skipper McCullum had emphasised the need for Ryder to prove his worthiness if he wanted his berth back in the batting line up.
In sport, putting the team before self-interest, as former Australia skipper Ricky Ponting was chastised for not doing this week, is paramount but that is not necessarily a given when it comes to cricket.
Cricket has, and will always be, about individualism in a veneer team environment.
Players live and die by their statistics, end of story.
Consequently, Ryder was simply showing he still has what it takes to make his half ton which is commendable in any T20, especially if the strike rate is up there, too.
The game, I'm afraid, was lost in the selection process.
There was no urgency for Ryder to make a return in the final T20 match.
He could easily have started his campaign in the three-match one-day series starting today, where he could have found a bit more breathing space to work himself into a better batting position to accumulate runs.
Refreshingly, Ryder looks relatively good physically but the ODIs should test his aerobic fitness if he will go on to make an impact in the test matches.
In Ryder's defence, every batsman and bowler who played a dumb shot or delivered an inconsequential ball as well as every fielder who didn't put a bit more energy to prevent an extra run from the South Africans should all shoulder the burden of an embarrassing defeat.