Two years ago I bought a cap emblazoned with "Jeep" from the infamous Fakes Market in Shanghai.
I donned it on my third day at the showgrounds to protect my scone from the heat - but more importantly to fit in.
Again, I was wide of the mark. Land Rover, not Jeep, dominated the horsescape. Besides, cowboy hats were yesterday's plat du jour.
I'm trying.
The first stop was dressage. I'm told the practice has military links. A beautiful horse toes-the-line with its female rider and performs to the theatrical classic Mack the Knife. To the uninitiated it's arcane art. Leaning up against the arena's barrier I overhear a group praising the rider. "It's the hardest discipline", one says.
Certainly it's one of the hardest disciplines to watch. For an animal built for speed, the genre seems counter-intuitive.
But I'm a philistine. Four polished Land Rovers are parked ringside. These act as late-model corporate boxes with punters in the front seats glued to the inaction.
Yesterday's foot traffic was up on the first two days. There's a buzz in the stalls and trade stands.
But not everyone's happy. A retailer tells me he pays a premium to book his site. He's suitably unimpressed with the dividend and tries to sell me a wallet.
Others are more animated. One, who stocks sports bras, boasts the slogan: "The bounce stops here". (A redundant garment in the sedentary art of dressage I'd guess).
If there's one unremitting buzzword down here, it's "Excellence".
Excellence is ubiquitous.
"Equine excellence", one sign boasts. "Excellence in horse massage," claims another. And so it continues. "Excellence in horse feed". "Excellence in equine skincare." "Excellence in floats". "Excellence in equine apparel". Quite the list of superlatives. A heady saturation of tip-top-terrific-top-shelf-bang-on-blue-ribbon stuff. I want to buy excellence. The spurs, the spa pool, the coaches and the boots that go way up.
Instead, I settle for a hot beef roll and part with $8. Turns out someone had shaved an old saddle with a potato peeler and thrown the contents in a bun with gravy.
It was lacking in excellence.
HOY's mammoth organising task handled by the best
It is a mammoth task to organise an event as big as Farmlands Horse of the Year without a few hiccups along the way.
Show director Kevin Hansen said organisers had encountered a few issues as the event hit its halfway point.
"I wouldn't say things are running smoothly but they are going well and we are getting things sorted.
"We have had a few issues with timetabling but particularly with cars parked on the grounds. They are taking up valuable space that is needed for the horses and it is dangerous to have them parked where they are," he said.
"Horses and cars don't mix well. The risk is that the horses might damage cars or hurt themselves."
Mr Hansen said event attendees had not been receptive to requests asking them to move their vehicles.
"People are not being very nice about it. They aren't keen to move."
A meeting was held yesterday with event organisers, security and police to try to sort out the issue.
"Security is now cutting down vehicles entering the grounds and we would like to have the grounds cleared by Friday before the big events kick off," he said.
Event attendees can park on the golf course driving range for $5 a day or in the Polo Club grounds off Elwood Rd.
Mr Hansen said, in comparison with the size of the event, the issue was minor.
"Other than that everything is running well. It is a mammoth event to get to run smoothly.
"There are always little sections that don't run to plan but they are minor compared with the whole big picture," he said.
Today's highlights
*Land Rover Premier Arena
10.15am: Eventing (showjumping).
2.30pm: Dunstan Horsefeeds Young Rider of the Year.
5.30pm: Hawke's Bay Today Friday Night Equestrian Extravaganza.
5.45pm: McMillan Equine Feeds Silver Fern Stakes.
7.15pm: Kaimanawa Stallion Challenge.
*NRM Arena
8.30am: Bates Saddles Pony Championship Stakes.
1.30pm: Eventing (showjumping).
4pm: NZ Horse & Pony Magazine NZ Pony Club Team of the Year -1st round..
•additional reporting Regan Schoultz