Kim Davey: Bullies come in all shapes and forums

4 comments
Kim Davey
Kim Davey

Poor Charlotte Dawson.

Bullying touches everyone's life at some point. Growing up, I remember being both bullied and a bully. We all have. But sometimes it gets out-of-hand.

Power, control, dominance, attention and self-importance are generally what the bully is after. The bully is always trying to fill a giant void in their own lives by making others feel as crap as they do.

Bullying has always existed, but today we have social media and, boy, is it a shocker! A bully can now be sitting in the safety and security of their own home, drinking a coffee, posting hideous messages on social media.

Unlike saying something in person, if you stuff up what you type, you can delete it and re-type it before hitting send. Perfect!
So what do we do about it?

Let's face it, bullying will never completely go away. But there are a number of things YOU can do to make sure it disappears from your life - for good.

First, bullies hate to be ignored. So don't reply, don't acknowledge, and don't talk back to them. They can't stand it. They give their remarks in the hope that it will rattle you and affect you. If you give them absolutely nothing back, after a while they will give up.

Now it's not easy to ignore them at first, but if you block their accounts, tell someone in authority and give them nothing back, they will go away. Bullies need ammunition to succeed.

Poor Charlotte Dawson tried so hard to defend herself on Twitter against nasty people. She kept giving them more ammunition and attention and they thrived on it. They were being noticed. I repeat - Ignore them. It takes strength of character, but you can do it.
Secondly, Change your focus. There is no doubt that bullying exists and is rampant in some people's lives.

However, if you do not want any part in it you need to switch your attention to that which you do want - i.e. friendship, honesty and love.

I absolutely love the movie The Secret and am a huge fan of Abraham Hicks. Both of these are teachings based on the law of attraction. The law states that "like attracts like", meaning what which we think about most will be attracted into our lives. Like the law of gravity, the law of attraction is operating continuously every second of our lives. It is responding to our thoughts.

For example, if I was to focus on how I am constantly bullied and attacked, I will see more and more evidence that I am constantly bullied and attacked.

If I instead focus my thoughts and energy on how much love, support and friendship I have in my life, even if that's not currently the case, the more I will begin to see evidence of love and support. The law of attraction responds to our thoughts, not our current reality.

The law of attraction is working 24/7 whether you believe it or not. If you haven't heard of it before, get googling. You will, however, have consciously experienced it at some point - for example, you may have fallen in love with a certain model of car, perhaps planning to buy one, and then all of a sudden you see this model of car everywhere you go!

This is not a coincidence; there is no such thing. This is the law of attraction. You have turned the focus of your attention to this model of car so "like attracts like" and now all you see is this type of car. They have always been there, but now your point of attraction allows you to see them - everywhere!

The most powerful way to overcome bullying or any negative aspect in your life is to change the focus of your thoughts. Now I know that is easier said than done. But give it a shot.

Start focusing on all the positive things in your life - your fabulous parents, you favourite pet who loves you unconditionally, your true friends - whatever is good. Hold your attention to these thoughts for as long as you can.

Pretty soon you will start to attract more of these positive things into your life - then it gets easier to think positive thoughts - then you attract more and more positive things into your life. Similarly, if you keep thinking how sad, depressed and victimised you are, then bingo. - That will keep happening.

Your life is dictated by your thoughts. You hold absolute power and control over which thoughts you choose to think. Choose carefully and create an amazing life!

Change your thinking change your life.

Be Real. Be True. Be You!

# Kim Davey is an international speaker, author and entrepreneur who lives between Hawkes' Bay and LA and runs www.nzdancenetwork.co.nz and www.kimdaveylive.com

- Hawkes Bay Today

Have your say

We aim to have healthy debate. But we won't publish comments that abuse others. View commenting guidelines.

1200 characters left

Sort by
  • Oldest

© Copyright 2014, APN New Zealand Limited

Assembled by: (static) on production apcf03 at 20 Dec 2014 04:31:32 Processing Time: 427ms