Are you freakishly bendy? Do you have moves like Jagger? Are you tired of having your singing contained to the shower?
Never fear, New Zealand's Got Talent is here.
The second nation-wide scavenger hunt to find Aotearoa's finest talent is finally arriving in Hamilton.
This Saturday, thousands of Hamilton hopefuls will flock to Southwell School from 10am-4pm to perform a two-minute audition in front of the show's producers.
Among these hopefuls will be me, nervously waiting for my chance to convince total strangers that I am worthy of the $100,000 grand prize.
This is no easy feat given that I have sung for the past few months for only two audiences: my web cam and my shower head.
So I am enlisting the help of a Marvin Gaye classic "Let's get it on" in the hope of seducing my way into a place in the finals.
The show's host Tamati Coffey has been showcasing snippets of talent from the auditions on TV1's Breakfast in the Toyota Talent Tour.
As well as open auditions, contestants submitted online and DVD auditions.
If you, like me, have recording equipment that isn't exactly 'state-of-the-art', then open auditions are your best bet.
Because, let's face it, judges will not be impressed by a performance accompanied by a mysterious and persistent humming noise.
So I look to the auditions this weekend with an open mind, frantically jamming as many singing sessions in as possible.
I'll let you know how I get on.