My teenage years were, for the most part, pretty terrible. You know, just like most people's teenage years. I also had a lot of free time on my hands, as I'd given up netball and choir and all of that other stuff that sulky teenagers tend to decide they don't like anymore. There aren't many goth kids in high school choirs.
And like many others, I used entertainment media as pastime and a kind of escape.
I spent weekends at friends' places watching The Crow and Donnie Darko. I spent lunchtimes in the library at school reading classic novels that were probably quite boring but made me feel smart. And, of course, I played games.
It was a time in my life that made me feel like I didn't have much going for me, and playing games made me happy and interested and got my brain going. I have nothing but fond memories of those games, and where they're available I go back to them relatively frequently.
Mostly, they're games from the original PlayStation - or PC games from around the same time - as that console generation was my first foray into games that were designed for teens and adults rather than children. The original Grand Theft Auto, Final Fantasy VII, and Silent Hill are some of those games (although I've gotten wussier as I've gotten older and now struggle with Silent Hill).
But for a few years I had a problem. The PlayStation 2 was backwards compatible, which meant I could play my PS1 games on it quite happily. When my PS2 bit the dust, however, I was bereft.
Fortunately, it's now easier than ever to play many of those old games that I loved. Now that handheld devices are in the pockets of everybody, many game companies are quite happy to port their games onto those platforms for people to play. I just started playing Chrono Trigger for the first time on iOS, and it's not only a really good game, but it looks surprisingly good on that little screen and costs a fraction of what it would have cost me to buy a copy on Trade Me.
A screenshot from Final Fantasy X. Photo / SQUARE ENIX
There's also a trend of porting old games onto other handhelds - Nintendo's back catalogue on the 3DS is huge, and includes many of their classics. Another favourite of mine, Final Fantasy X, has been remastered and released on the PS3 and Vita.
Classic games like Ico and Shadow of the Colossus were remade for PS3 a couple of years ago. If you missed any of those games when they were originally released, you can pick them up now even without the original hardware. Technology, eh?
Unfortunately the availability of old games has also altered my expectations. When I look up Dark Cloud or Legend of Dragoon, I'm frustrated when I can't find a copy.
Especially so when I realise I could play Legend of Dragoon if I had a US PlayStation Network account. In many cases I might be able to use an emulator, but that's not my preference. I actually want to give people money for these games that I adored and would like to experience again.
A screenshot from Shadow of the Colossus.
I would be lying if I said I don't still play games to take a break from real life. Maybe that's why I get so frustrated when I can't find one I really liked - I feel like it will help me cope with everything else in the same way they helped me cope when I was a teenager.
And honestly, I think I seek out those games I played as a teen most fervently when I'm stressed out at work or going through a family issue. For the most part, I don't play games after a hard day at work, but something about these ones helps me unwind.
My desire to sulk and dress in black has mostly dissipated as I grew up and got my act together. I'm much happier these days, but my troubled teenage years - and how I dealt with them - really informed a long-term love of gaming, media and storytelling, and helped me through a bad patch so I could become a functioning human being. I've talked to loads of people who used games as an outlet during tough times, so I'm far from alone in that.
Whatever you personally feel about video games, I think that's pretty great.
- nzherald.co.nz