John Weekes ' Opinion

John Weekes is an NZME. News Service reporter based in Wellington.

John Weekes: Lunch with a burp

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Years of fast-food conditioning make the hot dog-pizza collision an odd sensation. Photo / Michael Craig
Years of fast-food conditioning make the hot dog-pizza collision an odd sensation. Photo / Michael Craig

Even for a fast food slob, the hotdog-stuffed crust pizza is a strange proposition.

My boss had challenged me to eat one in a single sitting.

Starting on the inside was stupid. Pineapple, dough, green pepper and cheese soon give way to a bizarre sensation. Years of fast-food conditioning make the hotdog-pizza collision an odd sensation. Still, I'm hooked, if only because I sacrificed lunch for this.

Belching begins with a slice to go. Close to the finish line, regrets emerge, the mind wanders and I think of the waterfront. Are hot dogs prime beach fare? Is the saltiness taking me back to the sandy, garbage-strewn beaches of my youth?

Burping builds to near retching a few minutes after the final mouthful. A senior colleague comments: "Have a pleasant evening on the lavatory."

- Herald on Sunday

John Weekes

John Weekes is an NZME. News Service reporter based in Wellington.

NZME. News Service reporter John Weekes joined the agency in 2014 after three years at the at the Herald on Sunday. He previously worked at Television New Zealand’s operations department, and at 95bFM radio station. He completed short internships at The Aucklander and the Daily News in Durban, South Africa. He has a Bachelor of Arts in political studies and a Graduate Diploma in journalism.

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