Rating: 1/5
Address: 508 Pt Chevalier Rd, Pt Chevalier

We came here because

we live in Pt Chev West (oh, all right: Waterview) and this place always has a big crowd.

Parking was fine for us. But between the beachgoers, park visitors (excellent playground) and locals, you might need to walk a bit.

We walked in and immediately thought it's a great location with a nice outdoor space, but the drinks fridge and signage for an icecream brand make it all a bit cornershop-ish. But, in the name of all that's human, please get rid of the radio station.

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The most unusual thing on the menu was double chocolate pancakes with raspberry coulis, mascarpone cream and white chocolate sauce ($15). Even Charlie Bucket would think it was a bit much.

We ordered salmon hash cakes with poached eggs and hollandaise ($16, from the specials board) and rosemary grilled chipolata sausages with fried mushrooms and roast tomatoes on a pesto tart ($15). We got something quite different. The salmon hash cake was unseasoned mashed potato that had spent a few minutes on a grill then had a bit of salmon dropped on it. Those chipolata sausages would have been at home at a footy club fundraising sizzle and the roast tomatoes weren't roasted. And when they said "pesto tart", what they actually meant was "a supermarket crumpet with some pesto vinaigrette". We considered the homemade beans on toast ($9) but feared they'd be more homebrand than homemade. We finished with a chocolate brownie ($4.50) and a blueberry friand ($3.50) that seemed a close relative of a petrol station muffin. Spiritless fare.

The coffee was weak. Too milky.

The service was the best thing about the place. A very nice young bloke.

We recommend if you come here you move along. This is a very unfussy person's idea of a cafe.