Better than the book
An imitation of retired US Admiral William H McRaven's book Make Your Bed: Small Things That Can Change Your Life ... and Maybe the World, which was possibly not as humorous ...
1. Start off by making your bed
The barracks at basic SEAL (Navy Sea, Air, Land teams) training is a nondescript building in California. Rooms are spartan, with a simple steel bed on which there is a mattress, two sheets and a grey blanket. Every morning, we would have to make our beds. If the task wasn't done properly, we would be sent on a 10-mile run. Making my bed taught me the importance of getting my day off to a good start. Years later, when we finally captured Saddam Hussein in Iraq, I was intrigued to notice that he had never made his bed. It's that kind of laziness that can lead to the downfall of any dictator.
2. Get over being a sugar cookie
In all of SEAL training, there was no worse punishment than being coated in wet sand like a sugar cookie and not being allowed to wash for three weeks. One morning, after I had successfully completed an exercise, the instructor told me to roll in the sand. "Do you know why you are a sugar cookie?" he asked me. I replied that I didn't. "Because life is unfair," he said. This taught me that life was unfair. Get over it. S*** happens. So what if you lose a leg in a car accident? At least, you've got one good one left. (Source: The Guardian's Digested Reads by John Crace)
Get a wig, get a job
Spammed address
Can you imagine receiving dozens of letters from strangers every day and having your utilities constantly being cut off? One address in the Netherlands - 123 Maindrag - in Noord Holland province was the most spammed address in the country. It's the default address hackers use, as well as everyday people who don't want to use their own address when filling out online forms. In the Netherlands when someone moves to a new address, they simply notify their utilities supplier so they can shut off services at their old address and set them up at their new home. To get through the process faster people use the first false address that comes to mind. One person who lived at the address had all utilities cut off, couldn't buy online and had people banging on his door wanting unpaid newspaper subs. He also said he couldn't go on holiday because his mailbox would be overwhelmed in days. (Source: Motherboard)
Saddest name for a butter substitute
Jazzercise from 1982
Shhhh lady. Take a breath....
Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz