Sideswipe: January 16: Major mark-up

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The Wobbly Kea Cafe & Bar in Arthur's Pass bills customers $2.50 per half hour to charge their phone. The cost to charge an iPhone6 is around $1.32 for a year.
The Wobbly Kea Cafe & Bar in Arthur's Pass bills customers $2.50 per half hour to charge their phone. The cost to charge an iPhone6 is around $1.32 for a year.

Mouths of babes

Margaret Glen of Glendene writes: "This afternoon, as my daughter was leaving my house with her three boys, she said to her 2-and-a-half-year old son, "Go and kiss Granny and say thank you for having me". He came over and gave me a kiss and said "Thank you for having Mummy". I said he was most welcome!"

No free lunch

A free VIP ticket to the US music festival Coachella could be yours, but only if you meet 56-year-old Gordie's rather specific requirements he shared on Craigslist.

• Must be female between the ages of 19 and 25

• Must keep hands and feet moisturised at all times.

• Must be okay with periodic hand-holding (perhaps during certain sensual songs and while walking into the festival initially).

• Fingernails and toenails must be nicely painted and harmonious with general colour scheme of outfit.

• Periodic moments of extended eye contact.

• Allow me to brush your hair once per day (not mandatory, but encouraged).

• Must not be into drugs, pot okay.

• Any personal grooming such as toenail clipping, eyebrow plucking or lipstick application must be done in my presence.

• At least once during festival, you must allow me to carry you on my shoulders so you can see stage better (perfect time for Instagram photo!).

• At least twice during the festival you must tell me in a playful manner that "I am naughty".

• At some point in time during the festival you must tell me that "you didn't know how this would go, but you're actually having a really good time".

• At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower.

Bare essentials

Murray doesn't think Kiwis are a nation of bare-footers. "I wear shoes at all times except when in bed or the shower," he writes. "As a boy with a mother not working and a stepfather on very low pay, we four children each had only one pair of shoes, which we had to keep for Sunday school, till we started high school. So we went to primary school and even the movies occasionally in bare feet. So once working I wore shoes all the time to make up for when we couldn't. Question. Do you think it is safe to drive cars in jandals which can slip about on the pedals? I never would."

Might be a knock off toy.
Might be a knock off toy.

- NZ Herald

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