Such a card

"The stories of concrete fauna remind me of when my aunt and I saw a boy shoplifting from a pharmacy in Panmure around 1992," writes Rachel Owens. "She said, 'And look, he's doing it right in front of that cop! I will go and report him'. I'm thinking 'what cop?'  It wasn't until she got right up close to boy in blue and was talking to him that she realised he was a cardboard community constable.  I laughed so hard (on the inside).Karma got its own back when in 2004 and heavily pregnant I reported a scruffy-looking shoplifter to the woman at the till of a newsagent on Lambton Quay during rush hour. 'Everywhere I look he's staring at me. He clearly has no intention of buying anything,' I said. 'Ma'am,' she replied, 'that's Aragorn'. Cardboard Aragorn was an LOTR promotion. Cue sniggers from the queue. The following Monday, a work mate told me about a man she met in a bar who told her the "hilarious" story of a pregnant woman who tried to get Aragorn arrested."

Public transport, public phone call

To the woman this morning on her phone, from a passenger sitting a few seats away... "We've been on the bus for 22 minutes now and although I appreciate it must be tough that your house got robbed, Toby's* laptop got stolen, the place was left in a tip and you no longer get to spend your $6,000 on a new car because you may have to move out at short notice, I find it quite gobsmacking that you couldn't have this personal call someplace other than a bus full of people trying to prepare for their busy day ahead. I'm left irritated. Unusually, irritated. You were speaking so loud that I put on my headphones on with maximum volume and still I heard about your trip to Napier and your lovely two hour walk where you talked to a nice chap at Toyota. Black cars are a no, no and anything under 100km would be sufficient. I'm glad work is going well and not too stressful. Darryl* sounds like a good bloke too. Again, I'm really sorry about the unfortunate circumstances that you now have to face in light of this robbery. I imagine lots of other people are faced with personal obstacles on this bus too...Thanks for wrapping the phone call up 23 minutes in to you boarding the bus. It was a relief. (*Names have been changed)

Fashion going to the birds

Via Twitter.
Via Twitter.

"God, fashion is sooo funny!" tweets @veronicaschm."I can't imagine their stitching would be up to scratch and there would be shit everywhere," replied @Dovil.

Brotherly love

As a dispute escalated between two brothers at their recycling plant in Bow, N.H., in October, Peter Emanuel used his front-end loader to tip over the crane being operated by Stanley Emanuel (who managed to jump out just in time). Peter was arrested. (News of the Weird)

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The perfect gift for a Bowie fan

Published in the New Yorker.
Published in the New Yorker.

The New Yorker cartoonist Benjamin Schwartz has generously donated this cartoon which ran in the magazine to commemorate the death of David Bowie to Hospice West Auckland. The framed cartoon - The Stars Look Very Different Today - is being auctioned on

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