Weird teachers

1. My teacher glued a dead fly to my essay and wrote next to it: "Yawn! Your essay even bored this fly to death."

2. All of my sisters had the same teacher. Last day of senior year he looked at me and said, "Please tell me you're the last one."

3. During an exam, my teacher pulled a newspaper in which he cut two holes. He spent the whole exam looking through those holes.

4. Biology teacher made us collect large earthworms. We thought we were dissecting, but he was absent the next day - fishing.

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5. My teacher had a "female stapler" and we had to be gentle when we stapled and treat it with respect.

6. I had an accounting teacher who started off every class with: "What is our favourite four letter word?" We had to answer, "Cash".

7. A bird flew in his room once, and he legit grabs it in midair, kills it, throws it in the trash, and goes back to teaching.

8. A boy flipped another kid off, so our teacher taped his hand like that and made him keep it taped all day

(Via #MyTeacherIsWeird on Twitter)

Positive thoughts about wedding negatives

"Back in my student days, I used to develop and print my own photos and I had a few paying assignments that helped cover the cost of materials in the darkroom I built under my parents' house," writes Michael Littlewood, of Remuera. "One of my retirement projects is to digitise, name and date all the family photos - not a small task as my wife's parents were amateur photographers and we have inherited all the old photos from both sides of our family ... So far, I have done about 24,000 and have about 3000-4000 more to go. I have a set of negatives of a wedding in about 1970 at the Remuera Baptist Church with the reception held at the Parnell Rose Gardens. I do not now remember any of the participants and I didn't note them on the negative envelope. I have scanned all 64 photos and am happy to pass them (and the negatives) on to someone who might value them - at no charge, of course." Contact Sideswipe for contact information.

Sign you are a good lover?

"A man who's good at petting cats is probably an attentive lover," suggests lord resonant on Reddit. "If the cat is purring and clearly loves it, it shows the guy is good at paying attention to what another creature likes (and will probably do the same in bed)." Another commenter responds: "The cat whisperer theory checks out. Ideally, he not only knows how to pet cats to their liking, but he enjoys it too. He's not just doing it to be polite in the presence of a pet owner, he's gaining happiness from giving it."

"We faced a bit of a clean-up outside the Takaka Police Station following the weekend protest...but thanks we love you too!"

Picture this:

When threatened the Bombardier Beetle sprays the attacker with a boiling hot mixture of caustic chemicals reaching 100° C. The beetle itself is not harmed by the fiery chemical reaction. Using two special chambers inside the abdomen, the bombardier beetle mixes potent chemicals and uses an enzymatic trigger to heat and release them. The foul concoction does burn and stain the skin. This defense proves effective against everything from hungry spiders to curious humans.

Video:

This is a bit bonkers, but you'd expect that of a T-Rex on a jet ski...

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz