Signs you are getting old ...

1. When the great songs of my youth began to be played on oldies stations.

2. When I noticed all the mums and dads on TV ads were younger than me.

3. When I was unable to figure out how to use Snapchat.

4. When my son got taller than I am. Has a much better beard too.

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5. When I sided with the parents on Disney movies. "Get real, Ariel, you don't even know what love really is."

6. When the barber trimmed my eyebrows

7. Scrolling down for ages when looking for my year of birth ...

8. When I came across extra money in my account, and my husband suggested I buy some clothes for myself. And I said, "No, I'd rather save up and redo our kitchen."

9. When you realise you have to start saying "Congratulations" to people when they get pregnant instead of "Oh no!"

10. Four-day hangovers.

11. Listening to new music on the radio and I go, "What is this garbage?"

12. Seeing Olympic athletes with birth years of 1998.

13. Husband got off the couch today and farted mid-rise. I don't think he even noticed. (Sometimes we need the extra thrust). (Via Reddit)

Gender-biased roles irk

A reader writes: "I took my 3-year-old for a once-in-a-blue-moon treat today and ordered the happy meal at Maccas. (I know, I know, but one cheeseburger won't make her head fall off or anything). The toy was a book, which was great, but then on closer inspection wasn't too happy with the gender stereotypes on offer.

The males were 'strong' and 'cool' and for the females importance was placed on 'little', being all about 'hugs' and having a 'sunshine' personality. All desirable characteristics but do they need to be so gender specific? (By the way we went for 'Mr Tickle'.)"

Rape kits funded

Musician Erykah Badu is donating the proceeds from her upcoming Detroit concert to a nonprofit organisation that tests the city's backlog of rape kits, the Detroit Free Press reports. The African-American 490 Challenge raises money to test the 11,000 abandoned rape kits found in a Detroit police warehouse in 2009. (Each test costs $490.)

Teacher enjoyed caning

"Brian Pinny's story about the caning regime at Tauranga Boys' College rang a bell," writes Bill Faulkner. "I served a four-year sentence there in the 60s for a crime I've yet to commit. One teacher caned at will and if you didn't get 6/10 for the fortnightly geography test you got whacked.

My suspicions of his true motive was confirmed when I copied out the test subject map perfectly the night before, hid it in the back of my pad and handed that in at the end of the test. He marked a perfect map only 7/10 but at least I avoided the cane."

Translated, the text on the bag reads:
Translated, the text on the bag reads: "This text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language."


Picture this:

100 homeless people were given cameras.

Video:

Bikini making competition in England, 1961...

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz