Sideswipe
A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: April 28: Waiheke word play

10 comments

Getting their geek on

The bad writing of 50 Shades of Grey is still spawning parody Twitter accounts. Here are the best tweets from 50 Nerds of Grey, which reimagines exchanges between Ana Steele and Christian Grey as if Grey was a nerd.

1. "I'm all yours tonight!" she cried, "Do something to me you'd never normally dare do to a woman!"

"All right," he said, and made eye contact.

2. When he told her he worked in IT support, it really turned her on.

Then it turned her off. Then it turned her on again.

3. They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent Wi-Fi signal.

4. "How do you feel about chains?" she whispered, stroking his chest.

He gulped. "I quite like Pizza Hut but I'm not so keen on McDonald's."

5. "So, what's your favourite position?" she asked.

"Easy," he said, "The middle seat of the sofa, exactly 1.5m from the TV and the PS4."

Road safety for smartphone zombies

The German city of Augsburg is experimenting with traffic lights that are embedded in the ground and don't require the pedestrian to look up before crossing the street. According to The Local.de, smartphone zombies have been given the nickname "smombies" and are a growing problem. A study found that roughly one in six pedestrians hypnotically tune into their phones and out of the real world while crossing the street.

Distinguishing shades of grey

"I too have a car of a shade of grey," writes a reader. "Like just about all of the other cars in my neighbourhood. A few months ago I parked near another greyish car which had an orange traffic cone on its roof, and the driver told me, as she returned with her shopping, that she often used it as an efficient way of finding her car."

Fire brings on the good times

"Come quickly! My house is on fire!" "Awesome! We'll bring chips and dips!"
"Come quickly! My house is on fire!" "Awesome! We'll bring chips and dips!"
An odd business mix.
An odd business mix.

Graphic: Terrifically detailed visualisation of shipping routes to demonstrate just how big a carbon footprint is created by the world's cargo ships....

Picture this: These illustration - when animals and people switch places - start out quite cutest, but become progressively more hard hitting...

Video: A 1994 workplace safety video titled 'Will You Be Here Tomorrow?' imagines the worst case scenarios for industrial and warehousing jobs and reenacts them in the most graphic way.

Video: Spear fisherman is dragged by a Goliath Grouper and he's mighty pissed off about it...

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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