Sideswipe
A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: March 10: Your fancy dress days are numbered

3 comments

Louise saw this in the fancy dress section of Look Sharp yesterday. "Not sure what the defining features of an 'accountant' are ... " she adds.

Tug of pwhoar

What is "chemistry" in a romantic sense? "After my divorce I felt I was pretty much done with things like 'chemistry'," writes Dushku Zapata on Quora.com. "Divorce made me feel half dead. About a year later I was sitting at a bar with a guy I had just met. It was our first date, and it was going great. It was easy: easy flirting, easy conversation, easy laughter. I had sent him a message after reading what I thought was a really funny online profile. At the very end he said 'reach out if you think you can beat me at arm wrestling'. So there we were, ready to arm wrestle. 'I'm ready to arm wrestle' I said. I take my bets seriously. 'Are you sure you really want to do that?' he said. 'I am positive.' I set my elbow down on the table and stretched out my hand for him to take it. He did. I felt his strong, warm fingers encircle mine and my memory of why chemistry is so important to people came back in less than an instant ... Hellooo, chemistry. Welcome back, you sexy thing. Chemistry is unrelated to how much two people have in common. It is a wonderful, free-spirited beast and it comes and goes when it wants to.

You can't fabricate it. You can't squelch it. That's part of what makes it magic." (Read more about what makes good chemistry here)

Getting shirty over lack of service

"Retail staff really can't win," writes Jane. "I HATE being followed around and being forced to engage in chirpy chit chat with shop staff, (which is what they are expected to do). A 'hello, can I help' or 'let me know if I can help' is fine with me. I know my budget, what I like, and how to ask for assistance when I need. So bugger off and leave me alone. Unless it's for food and alcohol. These items must be brought to me immediately please."

More of Jesus...

"This book from 1976 is more confessional/scripture lesson than a specific diet," writes Awful Library Books' Mary Kelly. It reads: "When shopping for groceries, only buy the foods that you think Jesus, Peter or Paul would buy." Okay, then.

Bad Sex In Three Words
Farts upon climax.
Dog watches intently.
Terms and conditions.
Excessive jazz hands.
Mid coitus fisticuffs.
Why the GoPro?
Let's use Tabasco.
Choreplay is foreplay.
Finished. Please clap.
(Via @midnight. Late night game show on @ComedyCentral)

Choreplay.
Choreplay.

Diversion: I'm a psychopath, according to this reliable inkblot test. Are you one too? Find out here....

Video: If you have boys, watch this...

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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