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Paul Casserly: 'How Maori are you?' TV's best quotes

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Rachel Smalley had a 'Ron Burgundy moment' while interviewing Hekia Parata.
Rachel Smalley had a 'Ron Burgundy moment' while interviewing Hekia Parata.

June has come and gone like a slightly depressed wet dog but it's left behind some memorable moments. Here's some words of wisdom mixed with some utterly odd utterances, and at least two moments of near madness.

But who said what and what on earth does it all mean?

1. "The Prego Rottweiler"

2. "How Maori are you?"

3. "Why do you hate seals?"

4. "Your old mate the Mad Butcher."

5. "There's no fool like an old fool."

6. "Want a gobbie?"

7. "Mr Peters, welcome back to Sin City."

8. "Just popping to the deli."

9. "I beat the crap out of him but he was going through a lot of chemo at the time."

10. "Being called a traitor by Cheney is the highest honour you can get as an American."

The Answers.

1. "The Prego Rottweiler" Media 3 reporter Jose Barbosa describing Bill Ralston, in a story about the Unitary Plan, of which Ralston has been an outspoken critic. FYI: Prego is a well known Auckland eatery frequented by media types while a Rottweiler is a formidable attack dog.

2. "How Maori are you?" Rachel Smalley enquires if Education Minister/Rottweiler Hekia Parata is brown enough on The Nation. Hilariously she also asked "Are you a bitch to work for?" but later claimed she was just saying what her producer was prompting her to say, like that scene in Anchor Man when Ron Burgundy reads out "Go F**k yourself San Diego". Tau Henare took to Twitter to demand an apology, presumably on behalf of Maori and possibly also for people who are bitches to work for. His final one read: "Righto @Rachel - Smalley How about today you say your sorry? "How Maori are you" #apology You know Paul Holmes eventually said sorry."

3. "Why do you hate seals?" The question that sent All Black Andrew Hore packing when asked by 'Little Guy Williams' on Jono and Ben at 10. The question is a reference to a 2005 incident in which Hore shot at seals from a boat. Meanwhile other sports stars are given especially big high-fives for dragging a pig they personally knifed to death out of the bush and having a photo taken as the blood trickles down their camo polar fleece.

4. "Your old mate the Mad Butcher." Barked Jim Hickey, inexplicably, during the weather broadcast on TV1 News, in what seemed like some terrible new verbal product placement initiative. Hickey had just said the words "Our old mate the southerly" when he was inspired to plug New Zealand's favourite purveyor of dead animal flesh. Mind you he has said weirder things in the past.

5. "There's no fool like an old fool." Winston Peters on Peter Dunne, implying that the former minister was so besotted with Fairfax journalist Andrea Vance that he set in motion a chain of events that ultimately lead to his resignation. The tired old adage became one of the most repeated phrases during the tired old saga.

6. "Want a gobbie?" Offered the female inmate to the male prison guard on TV2's Prisoner reboot, Wentworth, in return for some ciggies. Given the price of cigarettes now I guess the offer of oral sex in return no longer seems quite so crazy.

7. "Mr Peters, welcome back to Sin City." Said Campbell Live's Rebecca Wright as she began an industrial strength badgering of Winston Peters as he tried to exit Auckland Airport. Not unlike a Prego Rottweiler, Wright was hard to shake, causing Peters to fume and threaten as he stomped about barking things like "I'll sue your programme" before being driven off, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

8. "Just popping to the deli." Said the Remuera housewife on TV3's gritty cop show Harry. The rest of the country was heard muttering, "sounds about right. Probably driving there in a Porsche Cayenne."

9. "I beat the crap out of him but he was going through a lot of chemo at the time." In a rare guest appearance by Leigh Hart on 7 Days, after he explained that he had "done a lot of boxing for charity."

10. "Being called a traitor by Cheney is the highest honour you can get as an American." Said the on-the-run whistle-blower Edward Snowden on Democracy Now, in reference to Dick Cheney's denouncement of him as a traitor. The independent anti-establishment news show is screened here on Face TV, 10.30pm, Wednesdays.

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