Scott Kara: Do ya think they're sexy?

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Even Kiwi duo Kids of 88 have been doing their best to sex things up with songs such as My House and Just A Little Bit. Photo / Babiche Martens
Even Kiwi duo Kids of 88 have been doing their best to sex things up with songs such as My House and Just A Little Bit. Photo / Babiche Martens

Olivia Newton-John's Physical has been rated the sexiest song of all time. At least that's what the experts at US music industry magazine Billboard decided this week. Sure, Olivia looked saucy in her jazzercise gear, sweating up a storm in the video. And, for the ladies, there were all those buff beefcakes wearing next-to-nothing. There was also that famous vibrating bottom shot too. But is it really a song to, well, get your motor running?

And there is nothing at all sexy about Boyz II Men's I'll Make Love To You, which romped into the No 3 position, nor Captain and Tennille's Do That To Me One More Time at No 7. Yes, the inference of both those song titles are plain and simple, but the songs themselves are simpering rather than sexy.

Others to feature in the top 10 included Rod Stewart's Do Ya Think I'm Sexy (well, no, not now) and Madonna's Like a Virgin (sorry, but it should have been Justify My Love).

Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On was the only song on Billboard's list with sexy rights if you ask me.

But it did get my colleagues and me thinking sexy musical thoughts.

The Divinyls I Touch Myself, Donna Summer's simmering Love To Love You Baby and Minnie Riperton's Inside My Love, which has lines that are far too racy to mention here, should have all been in there.

I also piped up with Clarence Carter's Strokin', but that walks a very fine line between sexy and lewd. Still, whatever gets you going.

Then there were a few rock 'n' roll favourites like Queens of the Stone Age's I Wanna Make It Wit' Chu and Orgasm Addict by British punk veterans the Buzzcocks.

But perhaps more interesting was when we started racking our brains for the sexiest Kiwi songs ever.

Now, let's face it, we're not really known for our sexy music. Kimbra's hot but her music is still a little too cute and quirky to be sexy. So here's what we came up with - starting with the strange ones first.

One male colleague told us about an "acquaintance" of his whose in-the-mood music was the dissonant din of Bailter Space. Yes, though the earsplitting onslaught the band conjure up is some of the most beautiful noise this country has ever produced, can you imagine the trepidation his partner must have felt every time he took the Bailter Space CD off the shelf?

Someone, who will remain nameless, offered up Hogsnort Rupert's Pretty Girl, which is a fair call given lyrics like "we danced all night in the pale moonlight and now the day is dawning". But yeah, not too sexy.

However, on a more serious note - and maybe some of us lads in the office are showing our age here - we had to take a trip way back to the soft focus, big hair, and leather pant days of Sharon O'Neill to find a truly sexy Kiwi singer. Her 1987 song Physical Favours is a tough, staunch girl pop anthem - which is always damn saucy, isn't it?

More recently Kids of 88 have been doing their best to sex things up with songs such as My House (with its paint-throwing video and lyrics like "I love the feeling when you touch me, baby") and Just A Little Bit (with its "oohs and aahs" and voyeuristic video).

But the winner in my book is the primal, agitating pop of Dance Exponents' Sex and Agriculture. It's just so sexy and so Kiwi.

- TimeOut

- NZ Herald

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