Twitter newbie George Michael has let rip with a rant on the social networking site, slamming the "hacks and haters" who he claims have tried to "kill" his latest single.
Michael recently released his comeback single - a cover of New Order's True Faith. It stalled in the UK singles chart at number 27 - one of his poorest-performing singles in two decades.
The British tabloids have had a field day ribbing Michael over the single's performance, and it hasn't gone unnoticed. The former Wham! frontman took to Twitter to answer his critics - The Guardian in particular.
Warning: Text contains strong language
"True Faith at no2 in the UK iTunes video chart, CD no1 for the 18th day on Amazon Uk, and went from 55 to 18 on the airplay chart," he wrote yesterday.
"So thank you all, and f**k the journos who are trying to kill the record. Which, by the way, they do pretty much every time, lol (sic)."
He continued: "What makes me laugh is that after 30 yrs they still act as if it's newsworthy that I don't sell to kids/ the singles market the way I did.
'The tour will sell out...'
"Face it paps, hackers and haters...the album will sell great, the tour will sell out in hours.... So keep swinging at me....it's quite fun that you still love to hate me!!"
Tour? So he's planning on hitting the road again - three years after her said he'd given up touring for good?
Michael said following his 2008 tour: "I think this is about as good as I possibly could be. I think this is the best tour I have ever done and I think I want to stop while I'm at this peak."
He then went on to play three dates in Australia in 2010.
Back to the Twitter rant.
Michael then responded to the Guardian's tongue-in-cheek feature, cheekily-titled A crash course in how to tweet...This one's for you, George Michael, which took the mickey out of the singer's 'virgin' tweets.
Worthy of a dishonourable mention in the feature were:
"I'm just too last to write twitterers"
"Impressive retreating people"
"That damn spellcheck, retweeting"
Responding to the article, George said: "Thing in the Guardian was funny though! Apparently if I swear more I'll get more followers, but I just refuse point blank to f**king do that...:) (sic).
"I mean f**k that, why the f**k would I look for trouble by swearing on a f**king public site....shame on you all at the f**king Guardian. You utter c**k p*ss b**tards."
He continued: "Am I getting the hang of it people?! It's definitely more fun! Seriously though, thought the article was very funny....
"Actually The Guardian is my preferred newspaper, is why I'm happy to take their f**king word for it, about how to get down with da kids. By swearin' n that...""
And on it went: "Those kids wot is on Twitter when they isn't readin The Guardian.. Errr....f**k. Or c**k again.
"How Shocking, it f**kING WORKS!! A thousand new followers in a couple of minutes.... My numbers are up!! What a world we live in.........( f**king excellent, heh heh ;) I'm off to the naughty step for a bit...."
He added: "May be a while...
"Apparently I'm having a breakdown. as opposed to a laugh...and all Live!...life on twitter is so dramatic, don't you think? :)"
He signed off with: "Back to work for a bit. Vocals for new track Im working on nearly done. Love it. think u will too.....xxx"
You can read George's Twitter stream here - but be warned, it's unedited.
Forget Charlie Sheen. George's loose-lipped tweets are far more entertaining.
Check out George's cover of True Faith below:
Sticking with Sheen...
Martin Sheen has opened up about his troubled son in a new interview with The Telegraph.
"I know what hell he's living in," says the family patriarch, who then spoke about his own demons.
"I've had psychotic episodes in public. One of them was on camera - the opening scene of Apocalypse Now. So I know what Charlie is going through. And when you do something like that, that is out of control, that's the most difficult thing. You have to have courage."
Martin, who stars in upcoming flick The Way, directed by his son Emilio Estevez, says Sheen is emotionally-stunted from his addictions.
"You know, Charlie's 45 years old. He's not a kid," he says. "Emotionally he still is. Because when you're addicted, you don't grow emotionally. So when you get clean and sober you're starting at the moment you started using drugs or alcohol. You're emotionally crippled."
Sheen's response? No idea. But you can guarantee it's no lollipops and unicorns routine. Trolls?
Read the full Telegraph confab here.
Meanwhile, word at the water cooler says CBS is angling to get Sheen back on its Two and a Half Men show.
According to RadarOnline, CBS President and CEO Les Moonves is spearheading negotiations to get the 'Winning' star back on the show.
"Moonves wants to get the show back on the air. He's all for it," a source says. "He says certain people need to forget anything and everything Charlie's done recently and just move on with the business at hand."
British glamour model Katie Price says she wants former Transformers star Megan Fox to play her in a forthcoming biopic.
Price is planning a tell-all movie, based on her four diaries.
She told the Daily Mirror: "My movie is definitely on - I'd love Megan Fox to play me, she's stunning.
"As for the rest of the cast, I'm not too worried. As long as they're good-looking," she added.
Price previously said she's like Julia Roberts for the role. Fox is probably cheaper.
The reality star also blabbed about her latest flame, Argentine model Leandro Penna. "I love being with Leo. People think I'm doing this to wind certain people up but I'm not," she said.
"You can't choose when someone comes into my life. I need a laugh after the year I've had. Leo's young and certainly knows how to have fun."
She also told The Sun that they have to get creative in order to communicate with each other.
"OK, so he doesn't speak much English. I don't speak any Spanish either. But we communicate in other ways," she said.
We so don't want to know!
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Here's Johnny! The new Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides trailer, now with more Johnny Depp and on-screen love interest Penelope Cruz.
Also on board are Ian McShane, Geoffrey Rush, Stephen Graham, Sam Claflin, Astrid Berges-Frisbey and Richard Griffiths.
Opens in New Zealand on May 19.
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* Read more celebrity news and gossip from Myrddin Gwynedd (MG) here