Australian cricketers sure do excel in hypocrisy.
The team that initiated a high-handed discussion encouraging all nations play cricket in the spirit of the game are once again in the headlines for their unsporting conduct. The latest incident involves recidivist aggressor David Warner, who was involved in an ugly spat with Indian batsman Rohit Sharma in Sunday's second ODI in Melbourne.
Warner was fined 50 per cent of his match fee by ICC match referee Andy Pycroft of Zimbabwe after taking exception to Sharma running on an overthrow.
It sounds like just the type of pickle Warner's literary imagining, little Davey Warner, and his bunch of ragtag sidekicks would find themselves in in the Kaboom Kid series of children's books, apparently penned by the batsman. According to the marketing guff, the books focus on "cricket as a positive team sport for both boys and girls from all backgrounds and cultures" and carry "a strong anti-bullying and anti-sledging message". Seriously.
In the first four books, little Davey has overcome grumpy teachers, school bullies, vocal wicket-keepers and a big chip on his shoulder, dispensing important life advice for the next generation of cricketers.
In the next book, believed to be currently in the works, we find out what little Davey does when he comes face-to-face with little Rohit, a pesky little Indian kid who insists on speaking in Hindi when at the crease. Spoiler alert: he does the "polite thing" and demands he speak English. Genius lifehack.
Ignoring the blatant racism in his comments (as Channel Nine's Wide World of Sports commentary team would prefer it), the wonderful irony is Warner frequently mangles the English language.
Case in point his explanation of Sunday's ugly incident:
"I said 'speak English' because, if you're going to say something, understand that theoretically I cannot speak Hindi."
Ah, so in theory he can't speak Hindi. In practice, who knows? Like the plucky Aussie he is, he'd probably give it a decent crack.
The over-the-top sledging from Warner and many of his Australian teammates throughout the Indian series has led to concerns tensions could escalate during next month's World Cup, with New Zealand cricket legend Martin Crowe calling for the ICC to step in now and make an example of Warner. Writing in his latest column for website ESPNcricinfo, Crowe accused Warner of displaying "thuggish behaviour" and being one of the most juvenile cricketers he had seen.
Crowe believes the ICC's fining system is not an effective deterrent and wants to see a carding system introduced, which would see players who consistently overstep the mark banned for six months.
Given Warner hasn't felt compelled to modify his behaviour at a time his own team insisted cricketers cast bitter rivalries aside and play the game in a kinder, more generous spirit, nor after the ICC's warnings they will clamp down on sledging, it remains to be seen whether the threat of a ban will help. As little Davey well knows from his run-ins with his nemesis Mo Clouter, you can't do much to legislate against bullies.