Don is the editor of Thirst magazine.
Many years ago I was sitting with a friend at a pub in Ireland when an American tourist came in and began studying the menu. He approached the bar and asked the barmaid for "a quicky". She came out from behind the bar and slapped his face, knocking him to the ground. My friend leaned over the stricken man and said: "I think you'll find it's pronounced 'quiche'."
It was one more step in my understanding of bar manners. Here are a few tips that will win you the respect of bar staff around the world.
First, never hassle anyone whose job involves bringing you food or drinks. Gentlemen, you may think your roguish banter is impressing your waitress, but making inappropriate comments isn't made any less offensive by the leer on your face.
Secondly, some people clearly need to learn how to order once at the bar. Work out what everyone is drinking first, rather than standing there looking around questioningly at your friends. This is inefficient for the staff and hugely annoying for the person next in line to get served. If the bar is busy, waving and shouting are good ways of making sure you are served last.
Most of all, though, simply think of others, whether they be staff or other customers. Loud conversations about your relationship might seem important to you, but no one else is interested. Similarly, staggering into people is not attractive, nor is cutting in at the bar.
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