Seeking evidence that the Toyota Camry really is the quintessential company car, Phil Hanson intercepted this email from road warrior Bazza to his mate, Brian.
Hey Brian! Got the new Camry last week. I was hanging out for a Wingroad; every rep and his dog has a Camry, but I'm glad they gave me the toy even though it's the starter GL but not to worry, it's got mags.
I had to close the contract with old Jonesy just after I got it and he thought it was a European sports sedan, that's how different it is from the old Camry.
I told him it was a Merc and he was impressed. I don't think the dozy old coot could tell the Toyota badge from a three-pointed star.
But anyway he signed for another 24 months, so that's what matters, eh.
Tell you what Bri, the thing fair scoots along, not like that old 2003 dunger I used to have. It's only got a 2.4 litre engine on an auto transmission, but I reckon I'm knocking 15 minutes off the run to Tauranga.
Mind you, I'm caning the ******* but even so, it only burns 11.4 litres per 100km, including driving around town. Anyway, who cares as long as I've got a company fuel card?
companyI got the boss to fit a towbar so I can pull the boat. And she's pretty good at that.
I was friggin' amazed when I read the handbook and it said the max braked rating was only 1200kg and 500kg unbraked. Jeez, I better not tell the boss, but you know what they say about the best tow vehicle being any company car - it's true, mate.
I love all the places to put things. I'm not going so say where, but there's a really good spot to hide a bag of G. Rass, if you get my drift. Found it when I was looking for a place to stash the condoms. Did I tell you about the new sheila in the cafe just before you hit the Kaimais?
Hey, the Camry's pretty good in town. Did a U-ey when I was cruisin' K Road the other night. You wouldn't believe this chick but when I had a close look I reckon she was really a joker.
Anyway, I thought I was going to curb the mags when I was pulling the U, but the Camry's got a decent turning circle. Trouble is the spare's a steely so I'd look a bit of a dork if I'd wrecked a mag and had to drive around on the spare.
Same deal parking down at the Viaduct, mate. I was runnin' a bit late for that closer dinner at Euro, saw a space and the Camry just slotted in like a sports car.
Well, I did prang the rear bumper a bit, but not so much that you'd notice. Should have come with a parking camera, or something. Don't they know road warriors are lousy parkers?
Tell you what, I closed the deal and we all went over to Mermaids. I musta got really blotted, mate, because the next thing I remember is I'm laid out in the back seat of the Camry wanting a spew. Pretty good seat, too. Better than some beds. If the missus chucks me out, I won't have far to go.
I spilt a pie the other day, friggin' thing was too hot, and it just wiped right off. The boss says the GL costs $44,990 but I bet he got a deal. Nobody pays retail for a Camry.
The Atara SX is only $6500 more so you'd think he could have gone for that one, what with my sales figures for last year.
Anyway, I'm thinkin' of quitting and moving to Oz. Surfers, I reckon.