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Paul Casserly: Crimpy's Comedy Catastrophe

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Louis Crimp.  Photo / Steven McNicholl
Louis Crimp. Photo / Steven McNicholl

The best act of the Comedy Festival has been saved for last.

Louis Crimp's satirical depiction of a sad, racist, Southland businessman was note perfect although some of the lines seem to be crimped from Paul Henry's playbook.

He even dropped a few Henryisms during his hilarious mock interview with Campbell Live's Jane Luscombe.

The classic "not real New Zealanders" was there, referring to the kapa haka group who opened the Rugby World Cup.

And there was a lovely rib-tickler about pre-European New Zealand: "There were a few blimmin' savages around." Totally bro!

It seems Crimpy's comedy offensive is all about getting the Act Party to put some muscle behind scrapping the funding of the Maori Language, which Crimp reckons costs $500 million a year.

"If they want to spend all this money on a language that no one else can speak in the world they can pay for it from the billions of dollars they've got out of us taxpayers."

He even joked that he won't give John Banks any more money unless he fronts and helps stamp out this silly Te Reo nonsense. Fat chance. Banks wouldn't even front for Campbell Live.

Jane Luscombe: "He wouldn't comment, in any language."

Jane, by the way, has never had sex up against a tree. Right now you're thinking, 'How do I know Jane Luscombe has never had sex up against a tree?'

The answer is simple, because Louis asked her. "Have you ever had sex up against a tree?" he asked, before blurting out in mock horror: "We're not on tape are we?"

But Jane has some comedic chops too, adding in her voice over: "I presume he didn't mean a native tree but something British, like an oak."

But as any comedian knows, you have to learn how to deal with hecklers. Crimpy has had few, especially after his surreal comedic turn in the Weekend Herald.

He has a plan to deal with the death threats - he's going to buy a gun on his return to Invercargil. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha boom boom!

All in all a great end to a great Comedy Festival.

What: Crimpy's Comedy Catastrophe
Where: Campbell's Comedy Club May 21
Rating: 8/10

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