It's all about the jersey really, and I have one I bought 20 years ago and still darn whenever a hole appears. Darns and all, it's the first garment I'd grab if the house was burning down. I can't imagine discarding it for some new, untested stranger.
I guess Dan Carter and Ali Williams know what I mean.
Not that I have a brand, but they are supposed to be ambassadors of one until they die, ex-All Blacks forever, not Kiwi larrikins caught being idiots near Paris monuments that must be swarming with police, more so than ever with the ongoing threat of Islamic terrorism.
If we needed more proof of the effect alcohol has on the Kiwi male's brain, they've provided it. In scenes played out every night in this country, especially on weekends, they've been charged with drunk driving (Carter) and buying, or trying to buy, drugs (cocaine, Williams). This despite the reputation of the French police, who you're wise to steer clear of at the best of times. Well it's how Kiwi boys do it, eh, when they go downtown to do something wild and illegal where everyone hangs out, including the cops, and - would you believe it? - get caught.
Both men now play rugby for Paris club Racing 92. The club is not impressed. No apologies could ever be enough, and no amount of shaming too great. Buying cocaine near the Arc de Triomphe? Drink-driving near the Champs Elysees? They might as well have been blowing trumpets and wearing clown suits.
Think of the jersey, that sacred relic and performer of miracles, once made in New Zealand like our boys, but now made by whoever, overseas. The jersey is offended. The All Black brand visits sick kids in hospital and helps old ladies across roads, for goodness' sake.
All Black captain Kieran Reed's reaction, then, was that the arrests would be bad for the brand, as distinct from the men. A remorseful Williams said, "I feel like I've let down our beloved rugby community", while rugby boss Steve Tew and Reed have together called the blunders, "disappointing".
Meanwhile the Prime Minister says we have to import seasonal workers because young New Zealanders can't manage to turn up for work, being too drug addled. He's been attacked for that piece of candour, though he's backed by employers.
Our local drug of choice is P, possibly because cocaine is hard to get here, more expensive, and anyway has a more sophisticated reputation. We see here the corrupting influence of Europe on a local lad, and how unwise it is to travel.
Williams has now removed himself from a children's charity founded by himself, Carter and Richie McCaw. McCaw, his reputation intact and literally worth gold, what with all the ads he appears in, will presumably be the only one left.
The charity, iSport, was set up to help young people struggling to finance their sporting ambition. How that admirable goal could be tainted by foolish acts is unclear to me, but I'm not a marketer.
Neither am I especially religious, though I get that the jersey has become an object of faith and prayer in the rugby fraternity. Tew has articulated the core belief: "There's a certain legacy that you leave behind in the jersey. I think John Kirwan and Kieran Reed are much better to talk about that than I am because they have worn, do wear, the jersey and sweat and bleed in it."
How reminiscent of St Veronica, one instantly thinks, who got her hands on a piece of cloth believed to have touched Christ's face during the crucifixion. The black jersey, I guess, is a sacred relic something akin to that.
So far the All Black jersey has not been tested by a player presenting as transsexual. That challenge happened in Texas last weekend when high school transgender wrestler, Mack Beggs, won her weight class at the state girls' championship. Beggs says she would happily compete as a boy if the rules allowed it, but is obliged to compete as the sex on her birth certificate. That, if you're confused, declared her to be a girl. She is transitioning to become a boy.
In this country, also last weekend, Laurel Hubbard was selected to compete at the Australian International weightlifting event, and is now in line to represent New Zealand at the Commonwealth Games next year. Hubbard was formerly a male wrestling champion.
- Rosemary McLeod is a journalist and author