You must eat this, you have to have that, and you will do this works about as effectively as putting up barriers or building walls, when all you have to do is ignore them by walking around them, under them - or jumping over the top of them.
Talking invitingly to, instead of barking orders at, is what works for most Kiwis.
Compulsory voting, sex education, military training and religion are all red rags to the free-range Kiwi roaming around in our own backyard and we have always reacted poorly to anything obligatory or mandatory.
By making te reo Maori compulsory we could well turn off more than we will turn on.
Making it cool and normalising it across all sectors of our schooling, social and corporate world - as we are doing more and more, will achieve, far more quickly and effectively, the status of Aotearoa being the land of the culturally cool cloud - with two languages spoken side-by-side in our everyday korero (speech).
When we were kids telling us we must eat our broccoli, beans or beetroot was a total turn off and up went the flag of "forget it. It's not going to happen" - and with it the puku of protest.
However, when there was a sweet incentive served up - alongside the sourness, the puku was happy and the kawa (sourness) swallowed.
The trick is to sugar-coat kawa. Just as Mary Poppins promised, "a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down - in the most delightful way".
Or, the biblical equivalent, "a merry heart doeth good like a medicine", also preaches a positive spin on swallowing a bitter pill.
This applies to making things - any things, compulsory including te reo Maori.
The normalising of Maori language needs to be encouraged at every opportunity.
When I hear the weaving of te reo Maori into the korero of our radio and television announcers it sends out a warm signal - we are growing up and getting it right here in Aotearoa New Zealand. Much more so than any other country where the land and the language was "compulsorily" taken away.
Kia ora is becoming the norm across the nation in our greeting of one another, as are many of the kupu (words) we once only spoke on the marae or in our whare.
If there was a compulsory clause in our survival contract to keep Maori culture alive, for me it would have to be kaitiakitanga, pronounced (k-eye-tee-ark-e-tongue-a) before making Maori language compulsory.
We, as Maori, must practise what we preach as much as practise what we speak.
A kaitiaki is a guardian and the process and practices of protecting and looking after the environment, are referred to as kaitiakitanga. It becomes a code of conduct when woven into the policy or kaupapa (ethos) fabric of an entire organisation planning and management process.
And, many culturally cool companies are walking this talk and recognising the fact economic well-being is not valuable if it is detrimental to the well-being of the landscapes and its people.
Without kaitiakitanga, the land and the people who live on it are lost - and with it the language.
It all starts with looking after our own backyard and right now, we as a country and community, are starting to show signs that we really do care about the needs of others who live over the back fence.
By implementing kaitiakitanga, both Maori and non-Maori protect the natural environment for their descendants, which allows us all to feel we are meeting the expectations and hopes of our ancestors and founding fathers.
As we turn the page of protest on Waitangi Day - from one of blaming each other for bygone raruraru (grievances), put down the patu (weapon) on Waitangi Day - and pick up the taiaha (also a weapon) of knowledge and understanding, we will move forward and really start understanding what being a kaitiaki of our country is all about.
Nobody knows what Waitangi Day will look like when our kids are the kaitiaki of our whenua, of our moana and of each other. Who knows what Mr Madness will do next by building walls and mandating compulsory policy.
All we can do to counter the compulsory wall building korero is to build bridges, and in our already great country, it could start by being kaitiaki.
No reira (therefore) - one thing is for sure, if we continue to normalise the first language of this nation - and start celebrating how far we have come from when our mothers were punished for speaking their mothers' tongue, we will leave a legacy far greater than any other material gift, for our kids to grow up with.
Ko tahi aroha - one love.
Tommy Kapai is a best-selling author and writer.
broblack@xtra.co.nz