Heath Franklin, aka Chopper, has fused Australia and New Zealand together, "thrown out the s*** bits" and created the world's newest superpower, Anzakistan.
"Back on stage, and in stabbing distance," he appears once again at Baycourt to lay down the law in his newly created bogan frontier.
"Now is the time to say, 'Yes we can'".
Call in sick for work because you're hung-over? 'Yes we can'.
Tracksuit pants to a job interview? 'Yes we can'.
Can you stop at the bottle shop on the way over? 'Yes we can'.
"Chopper is the antithesis of all the stupidity of modern urban living. He keeps us in touch with the Aussie and New Zealand voice from the past where you can fix anything.
He is a back-to-basics bloke, and he doesn't see grey," says creator Heath Franklin.
He might not have much to say about the economy or global warming, "but we all know where he stands - right behind a moustache."
Political correctness has invaded our culture, and as a countermeasure, Chopper is here to remind us about what's really important. "He is the voice of common sense. We've lost touch with it in some ways," says Franklin.
Common sense might be catching, especially at TV3's, 7 Days, where Chopper is always an occasional, and well loved guest.
"When I write for Chopper I pick a topic and decide whether he would hate it or love it," he says. "The thing about comedians, is we are supposed to dissect things and make you think about things. Comedians stand back and say 'how can I take this apart and put it back together in a way that is surprising'."
"And wouldn't it be great if we had a leader who could just happily admit he was a dodgy bastard, a thief and a crook? The future for our glorious nation is bright with Chopper as your leader, that's why he's wearing sunglasses."
"Citizens of Anzakistan, join the revolution. Harden up and book tickets now. Viva la moustache!"
the fine print
What: Chopper Live From Anzakistan
When: Wednesday, May 11
Where: Baycourt Community & Arts Centre
Tickets: www.ticketek.co.nz